Friday Night Chicken Dinner

Another Friday, another glamorous night on the farm.

First let me relate that on the way home tonight, I stopped and got a pizza...all covered in gooey, glorious, yellow-white mozzarella cheese. This is an important fact to remember for later in this story.

Upon arriving home, we all sat down and ate and then I headed out to the barn to see my patient. Kas, the Thoroughbred filly of ours that failed out of polo school a few weeks ago, had come home with a small cut on her forearm which has been healing fine until last night when suddenly it swelled up with an abscess.  And we began the process of "ripening" it, as the old Veterinary books say, so it could be drained.

She has been a good patient so far and my veterinary directives over the last 24 hours had effected the needed change so I took her outside to cold hose it a bit and have a closer look. It had started draining out the original cut during the day and it occurred to me that I might be able to get the rest out without lancing it so I started to massage the swelling.

Anyone who has dealt with animal abscesses knows you end up in a sort of "train wreck, can't look but can't look away" trance. It is horrifying and supremely gross and yet fully fascinating. You also feel like a rock star as you drain one because A. It is so dramatic and B. You bring much, immediate relief to the animal.

And I squeezed, entranced and feeling accomplished, and it drained tons of fluid until it suddenly stopped. I could see it definitely wasn't done so I squeezed harder.

POP

A gooey, piece of yellowish white semi-solid pus came out and fell to the ground...and you guessed it, it looked exactly like pizza cheese.

I am pretty tough about gross things but that popping out of my horse's leg not 30 minutes after I ate pizza was nearly too much for me. Somehow I held it together...until the chickens arrived.

If you drop something in my yard, the chickens magically turn up out of nowhere to investigate it for edibility.  The yard can be totally quiet, not a bird to be seen, and you can drop a single kernel of corn and chickens will somehow teleport themselves to the very spot you stand. It's freaky, I'm telling you.

And so they showed up out of nowhere and ATE IT. They gobbled up that chunk of nastiness like it was a goddamn delicacy.

I almost lost everything right then and there. Never before have I had to fight so hard to keep my dinner down.  Farm life can be supremely gross and you get used to it but man, a girl has to have limits. 🤢