Check Yo Self

Farm Life Lessons #1816: Check Yo Self

Our new, mildly deformed (broken toe and no tail) rooster, Walter, has actually settled in quite well to farm. For a rooster, he is mild mannered and not terribly loud. He only crows for a few minutes each morning and then always has a few "I am king of the world" blasts outside the barn door before he goes in for the night.

Last night while Evie and I were out doing chores, Walter was doing his "last call" to the world outside the barn door. Evie decided it would be funny to mimic him and crowed right back at him.

Mind you, this wasn't some Old McDonald's Farm fake "cock-a-doodle-doos" that no self-respecting rooster would recognize as real. No, she has been taught by me personally to make REAL farm animal noises---and after many months of practice, her rooster crows are spot-on.

Needless to say, Walter was rather shocked when there was an answering call to his crow. He strutted and crowed some more. Evie did likewise, laughing hysterically. Walter, worried about this rather tall, pink-clad, oddly-shaped rooster that was crowing RIGHT IN HIS YARD, started putting on a real show---big crows, fluffed feathers, strutting and digging. Evie kept mimicking him but soon had to follow me to the house.

Walter, quite confused but confident he had won the day, went to bed as well. I am sure he was well satisfied that he had run this pink "rooster" away from his home and his ladies for good.

This morning, I was once more outside with Evie doing chores and while in the barn I heard her scream bloody murder. I rushed outside to find Walter jumping at her back, spurs first. Needless to say, Evie was pretty freaked out at this attack.

I was flummoxed for a moment as to what his issue was. He has been a very nice rooster to humans and mostly just tries to stay out of our way. The attack was very out of character for him.

It was then that I remembered Evie's crowing match with Walter from the night before.

She was dressed nearly identical to what she had worn last evening (pink coat, pink striped hat) and I am guessing that when Walter saw his vanquished enemy show up again this morning, he had had enough. After all, it's his job in life to protect his turf and his women from all intruders and that is just what he did.

I caught Walter and brought him to Evie and we talked about the incident. I explained to her how to defend herself from a rooster (one of many animal self defense classes we have had on the farm--cat, dog, horse, goat and now rooster).

Other than that, I really didn't know what to tell her except that if you're going to crow with the roosters, you had better be able to back up your words with action.

And if you aren't prepared to duke it out with a rooster, then to "Chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self."

I knew that bad 90's rap would come in handy someday...