The Gus

We are exploring the idea of getting our Livestock Guardian Dog (LGD), Punzi, a coworker. The January thaw has predators out in force, looking for a midwinter meal, and she is running herself ragged day and night in her determination to keep everyone safe.

As we explore the idea, I have come across several breeders and rescues who require references, which I fully support. LGDs aren’t always easy dogs to own and can often get passed around amongst owners who don’t understand their unique characteristics and I totally get wanting to know more about where your dogs ends up.

So let me present Specimen A: Gus

We got Gus as a fat, fuzzy, impossibly cute puppy the first winter we lived on the farm. He is our second English Shepherd, the original American farm dog, known for its multipurpose abilities—herding, hunting, guarding, family dog—they do it all, they are loyal, they are smart. Our first English Shepherd, Mabel, is all that and more. But not Gus.

From day one, Gus has been, um, special. He is one of the most loving dogs you will ever meet, also courageous when need demands it but man, is he dumb. I don’t think dear Gus has 7 brain cells to rub together and rarely do even those 7 fire at the same time.

Gus took FOREVER to learn the most basic dog things—His own name, to come when called, to sit. He isn’t a stubborn dog—he is almost overly eager to please and very food and praise motivated--but he fails entirely at understanding cause and effect. He just can’t put two and two together—like coming when I call his name equals treats and pets. That took months to wire into his thick skull. Leash training was a near disaster because he panicked the moment it touched him and calming him back down took up most of his limited puppy attention span.

Or housetraining. He just didn’t get it. I have house trained a lot of dogs in my life, including adult puppy mill rescues who didn’t have any chance to learn a thing, but Gus nearly defeated me. I tried every conceivable trick but even at a year of age, he would just poop in his kennel and sleep right on it rather than wait. It wasn’t until he was 18 months that finally he realized the whole world was better when your poo was outdoors.

When we installed new electric fencing, we had a front row to a show that would have unraveled all of Pavlov’s classical conditioning scientific work in a single day. The bottom wire of the new fence was just low enough a dog could walk thru except their tail would get zapped. Our other dogs figured it out in one, maybe two, zaps and never went near it again. But not poor Gus.

Gus hit that fence at least 50 times the first day, 20 times the next and with slightly less decreasing contact over the course of nearly 2 weeks until he figured it out. Our year was filled with periodic “Argh, argh” cries and a flying brown thing for days. He just could not connect A + B = Ouch.

And then there is how he lost one of his hind legs. Gus loved (loves) to chase our horses and hang off their tails like a maypole and swing. I admit, it looks like fun but it is a TERRIBLE idea. It is basically a death wish, especially around cranky mares.

So we endlessly worked on training, dog-proofed the horse-pasture fences and painstakingly babysat Gus to try to keep him safe. But one day all our work came to naught when we found him in the barnyard sporting a dangling hind leg, which the xrays showed had been bashed to pieces by a horse hoof. We paid through the nose for emergency surgery (making him the single most expensive thing we owned beside our cars and home) and brought our 3-legged dog home.

And did he learn anything? Oh heck no. Although insecure in his handicap enough in the house to have become permanently paranoid about our wobbly, half blind 12-year-old pug killing him, it has in no way inhibited his urge to chase horses. I can watch the exact moment his already mostly blank eyes go even blanker when the urge to chase horses strikes him...and on 3-legs, he is still fleet of foot AND somehow able to jump 4-foot gates, so our babysitting continues because 2-legged dog isn't an option that works well.

Beyond not being able to learn easily, Gus also has a very easily irritated, irritable bowel. This means that if he eats ANYTHING that isn't his usual kibble, terrible, awful, no-good things happen to my kitchen floor overnight. And because he has only 3 legs and must hop while he poos, these things cover multiple square feet. And any of you who live on a farm with dogs know that keeping them from eating things that aren't kibble is really hard. I should probably own stock in Nature's Best Pet Odor Removal company....

Gus also loves to wander if take your eyes off him for a minute outside, for distances no other dog on our farm is interested in. He keeps going well after they come home. That is how he found himself caught for FOUR DAYS in a coyote snare trap 3 sections over. How he was smart enough to not pull on that snare until he choked was beyond me....apparently the 10 months it took for him to learn to walk on a leash paid off.

Gus is now going on 5 years of age and is definitely not getting any wiser for his experiences. He still likes to chase horses, still likes to wander off, still can't understand how electric fences work if we move them even 2 feet and still poops on my kitchen floor, in a glorious circular spread of liquid diarrhea at least twice a month. Gus is destructive if left alone too long. He is anxious and neurotic if any big changes, like a Christmas tree added to the living, happen in his world. He literally doesn't know a single useful thing other than the most basic obedience. He doesn't even fetch right--he usually forgets why he is carrying the ball halfway back and wanders off to do something else.

Gus is the probably worst dog I have ever owned, frustrating in every way a dog can be, limited in his capacity for learning and living. But he is our dog. He is part of the family and he is here to stay.

You fix what you can fix and you just learn to live with the rest. He may not learn much, but he is just fine at doing what dogs do best: Love.