Pig Vandals

The days of free-roaming piglets are about to come to end.

They are to be incarcerated for the following transgressions:

-Theft and consumption of an entire huge planter of basil. Why anyone would want to eat that much basil is quite beyond me. Perhaps it will help create some "Italian Sausage".

-Wanton destruction of newly stacked hay in the barn. Hay bales are not a playground, wee pigs. They are certainly not stacked there so you can climb to the top and launch yourself off the side of the stack, thereby causing most of the stack to fall.

-Assault and battery of dogs, chickens, kittens and ponies. Poking something with your nose until it falls, runs or kicks at you is NOT that funny (well, yes, it kind of is, but still...)

-Repeated acts of vandalism towards human pants. It is not at all appreciated when wee pigs slime themselves head to toe in mud and then attempt to use your legs as scratching posts. I am literally going through 3-4 pairs of pants a DAY at this point.

-Trespassing onto sacred ground--ie attempting to run into the house. This was a new one today. It's hard to stop a hard-running, torpedo shaped, slime covered pig when it suddenly decides to make a dash for your doorstep. See above note about being slimed.

And so this weekend the pigs will go to their new jail, um pig pen, built into the foundation of the old barn (many years burned down and now fillled with grass and weeds--a piggy delight). They will be sentenced to hard labor--ie composting the manure pile from last winter. Everyone has to grow up and go to work someday...