Murderous Chickens

Kas would like to tell you about what murderous little s#^ts the chickens can be.

First let me explain that our farm has a delicate ecological balance in the winter. I spend weeks planning a winter pen setup that absolutely minimizes the number of steps I must take for chores and the number of stock tank heaters I must man. Each group is created based on their collective dietary needs, their ability to get along indoors during a blizzard and what holes in the fence they can fit through. It’s an intricate weave that requires everyone do their part to not be a little bastard.

So right now Kas is penned with the 3 gilts (young female pigs, including Peppa the interstate pig) -and this has worked well as they mostly ignore each other and are good at sharing their hay pile. And since Kas gets grained twice daily like the pigs, the somewhat flighty gilts have time to eat their meals uninterrupted...until the chickens f*#^ed everything up.

Today while I was doing chores, Kas kept swinging her head and stomping, obviously irritated about something. She can be grumpy around food so I thought she was just throwing a random fit until she suddenly ran off from her full bucket and went to stealing the pigs’ grain. This resulted in me running into the pen, cussing her royally and then coaxing her back to her feed by adding a bit more which seemed to satisfy her. I was mad that she would feel the need to go steal when she had plenty (and better tasting) of her own but I had to get on with chores and so I did.

Sure enough, a few minutes later she back in the pigs’ grain and this time I got really mad and actually chased her off it, even chucking a few kernels of corn at her to let her know I meant business. She sullenly went back to her own grain but no sooner had she stood over there, she was stomping and swinging her head in a rage again. What the heck?

That’s when I noticed the chicken scuttling around her feet. The chickens always hover around grain buckets, looking to snatch up stray bites but that’s not what this hen was doing—she was pecking Kas!

Kas has a small wound on her front fetlock, which had nicely scabbed over, but had apparently attracted the carnivorous attentions of this hen. The chicken was single-mindedly trying to eat Kas’s leg, totally focusing on going after it every time Kas stood still to eat. Needless to say, Kas wanted nothing to do with that situation and that’s why she wanted out of there!

By now I was in a serious rage and went after the sadistic hen with my own single-minded intent to attack. The deep snow helped me catch her in a few short strides and my first thought was to turn her into my next pot of soup, but lucky for her, I needed to keep my clothes clean for a school event tonight so I just stuffed her under my arm and chucked her into the barn, to be dealt with later. Then I cleaned up and treated Kas’s leg lest another chicken take a pot shot at it and convinced Kas it really was ok to go back to eating.

The things they don’t tell you about owning chickens...I tell you what.